Ben Raskin

Author: Ben Raskin

  • Lifting the NBA Boycott

    —

    by

    Ben Raskin
    in , ,

    I’ve never honored a boycott before. In every self-righteous rant about the evils of Taco Bell and Walmart and vowing never to step foot into one of these death-dealers again, I’ve have quickly found myself eating a MexiMelt while walking the aisles of Sam Walton’s joint. It’s tough. For every time I’ve swore off Coors…

  • The Traffic Stop

    —

    by

    Ben Raskin
    in , ,

    Pie Hole is not good pizza. In fairness, at 2:30am after slinging drinks for 8-hours, covered in spilt booze, sweat from the garbage cans and the grim of a busy piano bar, Pie Hole is decent enough. In all fairness, at 2:30am, the Pie Hole is God damn delicious. Considering the options available for a…

  • Sayonara, Suckwads!

    —

    by

    Ben Raskin
    in ,

    You guys are a collective group of ass clowns. That’s right, you! Every one of you chuckle bunnies that read the blog, follow me on Twitter or are “friends” with me on Facebook are insensitive, pathetic knuckle-draggers who should be hunted up and put into camps. And by camps, I mean those camps. I’ve been…

  • Election Hangover

    —

    by

    Ben Raskin
    in

    From the size and scope of my headache on Wednesday morning, I am assuming Barack Obama won and gave a killer speech. I awoke in the guest bedroom covered in a thick sheet of sweat and shame. I was floored—completely destroyed in a fit of blurring, pounding, mind-dumbing pain that ached from my feet to…

  • Erin’s Worst Nightmare

    —

    by

    Ben Raskin
    in

    ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY…