This category contains 134 posts

For Las Vegas, Gun Control Now

The worst country western show I have ever seen was Jason Aldean. It was at the USANA Amphitheater a couple of summers ago. The weather was hot and muggy, the sound was too loud, and Aldean was easily 20-pounds heavier than me. I know what I look like—about 260-gallons of wet laundry squeezed into a … Continue reading

People Love Football More Than Trump

3.4 million Puerto Ricans are fighting for survival and this dotard is tweeting about kneeling at a professional football game. Talk about taking your eyes off the prize. Americans love sports—football, basketball, baseball, hell, even professional soccer—and Trump might have fired the first shot across the bow of a battleship he can’t sink. LeBron James … Continue reading

End on a High Note

It’s stunning the amount of celebrities who passed away in 2016. Losing Muhammad Ali was horrible but the end of two decades of Parkinson’s disease for the Champ made it easier. Not a huge fan of Prince but his guitar solo in “Let’s Go Crazy” and “While my Guitar Gently Weeps” reminds me that on … Continue reading

These Are Serious Times

The idea of drinking a glass of Martinelli’s sparkling apple cider over Thanksgiving is absurd. Holiday meals and celebrations demand more fortified drinks: bourbon, red wine, gin, canned beer, grass whisky, Jameson or some other fermented or distilled beverage. Except vodka. These are serious times and we need serious drinkers. Vodka is reserved with children. … Continue reading

It’s Going to Be Okay: Election 2016

There’ only one thing for certain after today’s election. We’re going to be okay. The world is not going to end on Wednesday even if my hangover has something different to say. There won’t be any runs on the banks or long lines outside gas stations. There’ll still be food on the shelves at supermarkets, … Continue reading

Drive with a Purpose

There are too many cars in Salt Lake City. When did this fair city become a God damn parking lot at 8:30 in the morning? I must be crazy but it didn’t seem this bad six months ago. One could easily drive from Sugar House to West Valley City without packing provisions for a transatlantic voyage. … Continue reading

Fly the W

In April of 2003, I made my first trip to Chicago. I had saved all winter bartending to make a pilgrimage to Wrigley Field, home of the Chicago Cubs. In fairness, I actually flew out to watch my beloved San Diego Padres play at the Friendly Confines. More specifically, it was a chance to see … Continue reading

I’m Just Trying to Get Down

Third time might be the charm when hiking Angel’s Landing. Check out a pictured filled romp through Zion National Park. Continue reading

Fear the Walking Ben

I killed a black widow in the bedroom last night. The lady had spun a web about two feet from my nightstand and was making herself pretty cozy in the nook underneath the window. Growing up in Las Vegas, you get used to living around black widows—they’re everywhere. Thick and glossy, the red hourglass is … Continue reading

Cracked Tooth Blues

Between testicular damage or dental pain, I’ll take a kick to the nuts any day. I think I cracked a tooth. No, I’m positive I’ve cracked a tooth. Somewhere between eating a bowl of marbles or letting a temporary crown fall off after two years, I’m sitting at my desk with my tongue doing triage … Continue reading

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