Ben Raskin

Category: Salt Lake City

  • Lifting the NBA Boycott

    —

    by

    Ben Raskin
    in , ,

    I’ve never honored a boycott before. In every self-righteous rant about the evils of Taco Bell and Walmart and vowing never to step foot into one of these death-dealers again, I’ve have quickly found myself eating a MexiMelt while walking the aisles of Sam Walton’s joint. It’s tough. For every time I’ve swore off Coors…

  • The Traffic Stop

    —

    by

    Ben Raskin
    in , ,

    Pie Hole is not good pizza. In fairness, at 2:30am after slinging drinks for 8-hours, covered in spilt booze, sweat from the garbage cans and the grim of a busy piano bar, Pie Hole is decent enough. In all fairness, at 2:30am, the Pie Hole is God damn delicious. Considering the options available for a…

  • Sayonara, Suckwads!

    —

    by

    Ben Raskin
    in ,

    You guys are a collective group of ass clowns. That’s right, you! Every one of you chuckle bunnies that read the blog, follow me on Twitter or are “friends” with me on Facebook are insensitive, pathetic knuckle-draggers who should be hunted up and put into camps. And by camps, I mean those camps. I’ve been…

  • Leaving Las Vegas (Part Three)

    —

    by

    Ben Raskin
    in ,

    The sun was breaking through the desert sky when I started putting away my tools. For the last eight hours, I was alone in the C Terminal at McCarran Airport with two other electricians. We were installing new fire alarms and strobe lights along the walls and into the ceiling. The airport was a ghost…

  • The Fourth Best Option

    —

    by

    Ben Raskin
    in , ,

    I’ve sustained substantial testicular damage from bartending at Keys On Main. It has been a chronic injury. It is not the result of taking cocktail waitress into the liquor closet or deflowering customers into the back office. It happens when I pour a draft beer. You’re first response should be what my doctor said, “Well,…