Ben Raskin

Category: Utah

  • Punch A Shark

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    Ben Raskin
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    Since the Utah Democrats have proven to be as tough as water balloons, I have surrendered any hope of having any interest in politics. Tip O’Neill said, “All politics are local,” and Utah’s locals are nuts. Not so much crazed but indifferent and boring. It’s like watching powder puff except without the hard hits. Utah…

  • Night of the Trollopes

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    Ben Raskin
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    The menacing Harry Payne once asked a mouth breathing Officer Jack Traven, “Pop quiz, hotshot. There’s a bomb on a bus. Once the bus goes 50 miles an hour, the bomb is armed. If it drops below 50, it blows up. What do you do? What do you do?” I think we’ve all been in…

  • Plaid Nightmares

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    Ben Raskin
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    Plaid is the new Affliction and plaid Affliction shirts are the devil’s creation. Remember the good old days when you saw a guy in a Raider’s jersey and you knew he was up to no good? It seems like every trouble maker these days at the club are sporting a new plaid button down and…

  • Running Is Gay

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    Ben Raskin
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    It was too early to be up—much less going for a run. We were at the mouth of Memory Grove Saturday morning standing in line getting our race bibs. I think I might have slept 12 hours over the last four days. I was starting to feel like a character in The Machinist. Erin asked…

  • The Bride Wore Black and White

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    Ben Raskin
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    Too much diversity at a bachelorette party is never a good thing. I am accustomed to a cackle of screaming women drinking tequila through pinched noses and the occasional nipple slip. Keys On Main is Chuck E. Cheese for adults and for good reason. We’re the only bar in town that can replicate a moment…