Category: Health

  • The Angry Toe

    I saw stars. Literally a galaxy of bright lights bursted under my eyelids as the keg fell to the ground. It was a busy Wednesday night and I had to run to the back of the club to change the Blue Moon. Opening the walk-in door, a precariously stacked Coors Light keg decided to send…

  • Thirteen Is The New B

    Happy New Year’s, y’all. I want to wish everyone a very happy 2013. 2013. 13 is not just a great number, it is my lucky number. It’s the day in March that my father was born and one of the few squares on a roulette table that always gets a chip. It is the number…

  • The Curse of Santa

    I am pickled. After two days of non-stop boozing pausing only to shovel cheese into my piehole, I am done. I am done eating. I am done drinking. I am done. From the homemade ginger liquor to the margaritas that temporarily gave me the power to speak fluent Portuguese to the whiskey highballs to the…

  • Sayonara, Suckwads!

    You guys are a collective group of ass clowns. That’s right, you! Every one of you chuckle bunnies that read the blog, follow me on Twitter or are “friends” with me on Facebook are insensitive, pathetic knuckle-draggers who should be hunted up and put into camps. And by camps, I mean those camps. I’ve been…

  • Running Is Gay

    It was too early to be up—much less going for a run. We were at the mouth of Memory Grove Saturday morning standing in line getting our race bibs. I think I might have slept 12 hours over the last four days. I was starting to feel like a character in The Machinist. Erin asked…