Author: Ben Raskin

  • And Dudley Moore Wept…

    At the end of the night there were fewer bodies on the ground at Antietam than at Keys On Main for last call. It looked like a confetti bomb exploded in the club and the only thing that survived in the wake of destruction were the designated drivers and the already shattered Mormons. The bar…

  • New Year’s Resolutions

    For as long as I can remember, I have only had one New Year’s resolution: become a better speller. After re-reading most of my columns this last year, I think I am going to expand this resolution to improve my grammar, punctuation and style. This has probably been the busiest and most productive year since…

  • Rattlesnake Redux: 5 Worst Ways Bartenders Treat Their Customers

    You know you have problems when the last thing you see and the first thing you check in the morning is your Twitter account. My recent bout with laryngitis brought me to the doctor who is forcing me to stop eating fatty and spicy foods and drinking alcohol if I want to stop speaking like…

  • 2011: A Christmas Story

    The Nativity of Jesus is a relatively simple story. A carpenter and his pregnant wife wander through the hillsides of Bethlehem looking for refuge through the night. Stopping at various inns, they are denied shelter until a kindly shopkeeper allows them to sleep in his stables. During the night, the woman gives birth to a…

  • John McClane v. The Santa Pub Crawl

    Now I have a machine gun. Ho ho ho! My favorite Christmas movie of all time is Die Hard. It’s a heart wrenching tale of lost love reconnecting in Los Angeles on Christmas Eve. Detective John McClane flies from New York City to hook up with his estranged wife who coincidently looks old enough to…