Ben Raskin

Author: Ben Raskin

  • Death of a Bartender

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    Ben Raskin
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    I judge the quality of the night not by how much money I make but rather how dirty my glasses get and how sticky my forearms are. On a busy night, I find myself usually peering through opaque lens smeared with flying mixed drinks, busted blenders and sweat. My arms are usually stained an off-blue…

  • Put Them In A Chokehold

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    Ben Raskin
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    There is no man more dangerous with a company’s corporate credit card than me. Hand over that corporate American Express and I guarantee I will draw a bead on every one of your customers and pull the trigger. Well vodka and tonics become double Grey Goose with a hit of tonic. Every scotch and soda…

  • Mites. Why’d it have to be mites?

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    Ben Raskin
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    She weighs 71.3-pounds. Her fur is reddish-brown with soft waves that go from left-to-right. On her under-carriage she has a soft non-benign growth that makes her look like an inverted camel. Her muzzle is stained grey from her age and she has the softest eyes of any creature on this planet. Her name is Shelly…

  • A Water Cooler Moment

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    Ben Raskin
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    Starting in 9th grade I made a challenge to myself to read all of Modern Library’s list of the 100 greatest novels of all time. Before boring you with the details from high school, I just let you know that I fizzled out sometime before Halloween that year. Too many of the books were snooze-fests…

  • Mr. Wright

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    Ben Raskin
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    He wore a photographer’s jacket everywhere. In his breast pocket was an exposed pack of cigarettes that he reached for often. His beard was the definition of salt and pepper and he had eyes that dissected everything. When they talk about teachers saving a student, no single person did more to change my life than…