Author: Ben Raskin

Dear Fitz: At 11:15pm and there already is more Democratic bodies on the ground than at Vicksburg. Sherman spared more at Atlanta and Mitt Romney is looking like a hero with the stumping he did for his wretched GOP. Casa de Beaver Goat is under lockdown with the girls cowering in the basement with aluminum…

Dear Fitz: Well, it looks like the bastards have taken it to us again. It’s 8:30pm in Salt Lake City but it might as well be 1994 as far as I am concerned. The Democrats have been run out of town on a rail and the Republicans came marching in on a mandate that demands…

The plan was simply to age gracefully. Pick up some grey in the beard, cement the paunch, get some laugh lines and join a rec league softball team. Drink less beer and more Scotch, eat earlier and get to bed at a Christian time. Find the right lady, sock away a couple of bucks for…

Want to hear a monster story? I was at Petco this fine Halloween afternoon buying dog food for Sunflower. Sunflower, as we know, is the new puppy that Erin loves and the Labrador mix that ate my glasses yesterday. For those that wearing corrective lens, when you’re forced to wear your old pair with the…

I begged for the tennis ball to stop before going into the street. Driving Friday evening on 500 East, I passed 600 South when from the corner of my right eye I saw the ball leave the man’s hand. He had thrown a tennis ball for his waiting black lab. The yard was hidden from the street…