Lunch with Ben

Since the last time I posted was during the midterm elections, I thought it would be fun to throw a couple of things up. Here is some thoughts on Fast and Furious, San Diego Padres, my podcast at the Salt Lake Tribune and a Fiver–a list of five links that should entertain you through lunch.

Be a mensch and tell a friend.

Furious 7. If 10 year old Ben Raskin could talk to 40 year old Ben Raskin, the questions would be simple: do you get to eat whatever you want? What’s it like having an average of $17 in you wallet to do with as you please? No bedtime, how is that possible? Girls, are they still yucky?

I’d look at that devilishly handsome young man and respond in session: Yep. Liberating. Cause I’m a boss. Not really.

What neither one of us would know is how damn exciting watching the Fast and Furious franchise would be. We’re not car guys (I guess I should stop writing in first person plural considering if I had time to talk to a 10 year old version of me, writing a blog about fast cars and even faster women would seem like a waste of time—as oppose to any other type of blog).

I am the safest and soundest driver on the road. Hands are always at 10 and 2, speed limits are followed and seat belts are mandatory. The idea of consuming NOS is ridiculous and Vin Diesel is disgusting.

Yet, somehow, the Fast and Furious movies really resonate with me. They’re over the top, sexy, violent and have more action than a Vegas penny slot. Also, they have Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s cartoonishly large arms covered in an inch of coconut butter.

Here’s a random quote from Fast and Furious 5 that encapsulates everything that I love about the franchise. The Rock’s character, Agent Hobbs, gives this monologue the moment he steps off the plane in Brazil: “Aright listen up! The guys we’re after are professional runners. They like speed and are guaranteed to go down the hardest possible way. So make sure you’ve got your thunderwear on. We find ’em, we take ’em as a team and we bring ’em back. And above all else, we don’t ever, ever let them get into cars.”

Shakespeare himself is devastated he didn’t squeeze this into Macbeth.

This movie is awesome. There I said it. Furious 7 is awesome and I don’t remember walking out of an action movie with more tears streaming down my face since Tremors. They honored Paul Walker in such a way that I felt like a blubbering idiot during the closing credits. So, 10 year old Ben Raskin, get ready, because on Easter Sunday in 2015, you are in for a treat. You are going to sneak away from your beautiful fiancé and see the most delicious action adventure movie since Fast and Furious 5 or 6. Oh hell, just make sure you don’t forget to get the commemorative cup.

San Diego Padres Baseball. It’s been awhile since I’ve been really excited for the opening pitch of the season. Mostly because my beloved Padres were traditionally eliminated from the playoffs before the end of the first week. They might have lost the first game against the Dodgers (3-6, Shawn Kelley with the loss) but they rebounded in the second game with a 4-run ninth inning (7-4, Joaquin Benoit notches his first win of the year). Andrew Cashner is on the mound tonight against Brandon McCarthy. It’s hard not to believe that the Padres will win the rubber match. I plan on writing a lot Padres baseball this season.

Trib Sports Radio. Episode 47 of Trib Sports Radio is up. Kevin Winters Morriss and I sat down with Salt Lake Tribune sports columnist, Kurt Kragthorpe. Easily one of my favorite writers at the Tribune and he definitely a must read for anybody who loves sports in Utah. It felt like a master’s workshop as he discussed his career covering Super Bowls, the Olympics, NCAA basketball and the Utah Jazz. Definitely one of the better podcasts we’ve done in recent history. If you’ve read this far, please go to Trib Sports Radio, subscribe, rate and review the podcast. More than anything, be a mensch and tell a friend about the show. We’re coming up on our first year and I hope they let me continue doing it. Also, if you ask a question, I guarantee we’ll answer on the show.

A Fiver. I thought it would be fun to link five stories that caught my eye this morning when I was surfing the Internet instead of working.

1. Pacers forward Chris Copeland stabbed outside New York nightclub. The assailant’s name is Shezoy Bleary. This might quite possible be the greatest name for a knife-wielding maniac. Copeland should know better than to be seen with somebody named Shezoy. Nonetheless, I wish him and his friends a quick recovery.
2. Trib Talk: Who will be Salt Lake City’s next mayor. One of my oldest pals, Blake Perez, joined Jennifer Napier-Pearce on Trib Talk. Definitely check out his interview. BP is definitely becoming one of Rose Park’s greatest advocates.
3. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson eats about 821 pounds of cod per year. According to Wikipedia, an average Atlantic cod weighs a little less than 200 pounds. This means that Agent Hobbs eats close to four whole cods a year. I’m usually good for three pounds of cod a year, depending upon how many times I order fish and chips.
4. Nixon’s Western White House (and post-Watergate refuge) hits the market at $75 million. You might hate the man but Holy Mackerel, did he have a hell of a nice home. Just in case you were wondering, a 30 year fixed mortgage at 3.5% on his house (with no money down) is $336,784 a month.
5. Bill Hicks banned appearance on David Letterman. Letterman invites Hicks’ mother on to the show to apologize for pulling his standup appearance. Bill Hicks is definitely on the Mount Rushmore of American comedians. And, surprisingly enough, this clip is kind of safe for work.

Ben Raskin is a writer, podcast, bartender and Shelly Belly’s owner. Follow him on Twitter @BennyRaskin.