Category: Uncategorized

I knew it was a dream—mostly because I’ve had this dream about a hundred times. I’m standing outside an old craftsman house that’s on the corner of Pine and Elm. There’s a wraparound porch filled with people whose faces are distorted. It’s not scary, just off putting that I can’t see any of their facial…

It occurred to me that I haven’t shaved in almost four days. I’m usually pretty good about grooming. I like to have a fresh pair of drawers on everyday with a clean undershirt and socks. I’m okay wearing the same slacks or jeans the next day and if my collared shirt isn’t too dirty, I…

It was outside of Elko when things began to fall apart. Ernie’s beady eyes were glazed over the steering wheel with his foot pushing the accelerator to the floor. LBJ and Walt were still passed out in the backseat, sawing logs with Walt’s occasional sleep apnea uncorking a cannonball of spit and phlegm as he…

I probably didn’t need the last shot of whiskey. But who cares? I just scorched the Earth and vanquished my enemies. The town lay in ruins and I sat atop the bodies of slain foes. I was victorious, satiated, and thirsty—the kind of thirst that can only be satisfied with strong drink and exotic women.…

Parking tickets stink. Now before you think this is some sort of rant against Mayor Ralph Becker and his megalomaniacal destruction of Salt Lake City’s roads for bike lanes and other underused service, I want everybody to calm down Clayton Scrivner. This is about me not paying a parking ticket, not Ralph Becker. I got a…