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I woke up Friday morning with the plan of purchasing a shotgun. I have never been a gun person. Raised in the suburbs of Las Vegas with parents that didn’t own any weapons, I never had any contact with guns with the exception of a Boy Scout excursion. Guns scare me. The sheer power of…

From the size and scope of my headache on Wednesday morning, I am assuming Barack Obama won and gave a killer speech. I awoke in the guest bedroom covered in a thick sheet of sweat and shame. I was floored—completely destroyed in a fit of blurring, pounding, mind-dumbing pain that ached from my feet to…

ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY…

My rule of thumb when picking up a woman at a convention in a strange town is to keep it cool. Limit the talk of my wife back home in Atlanta, minimize the amount of chitchat about my kids and mortgage and don’t focus too much on the unspeakable thing I would like to do…

The best stories are the ones that need a witness. Or in this case, a second nose. For 14+ years, I have never seen Thursday night television. I have been behind a bar, pouring drinks and entertaining folks. The TV might be on but it is usually tuned to a sporting event or if it…